Has Anyone Seen My Shark Hat?

There's a game on and I need my hat to help CHEER . . .

Helping Hand

I like to lend a helping HAND to my Mommys when I can. Lately my abilities as a masseuse have been called into play a lot.
In the above photo I am performing a MASSAGE to Mommy's hip as it was hurting - she works 2 jobs, you know.
The other night I did a back massage for Mommy as she was LAYING on the couch.

Here are my TECHNIQUES:

• I jump onto her back and walk up and down it quickly. Sometimes I throw in a little desperate "I Want Attention" whine for effect. But really I am only PLAY ACTING
• I walk down the back of the couch and the, unexpectedly JUMP
• I reach up to her side with my front paws and TAP excitedly
• I SNUGGLE into that space behind her knees and SNORE. The vibration from the snore breaks up all tension

I know it works because the other night Mommy fell asleep during the final step. These are SECRET methods that I am allowing YOU, my BLOG BUDDIES to learn and use.
Happy Helping!

. . . Word!

Okay, so I just don't get it. What am I supposed to do again?
I know, I know. We have gone over this a hundred times - and yet I still forget and end up repeating my mistake. I need some sort of plan to keep me on track so maybe some word triggers will help.

Stop
Slop
Plop
Plow
Glow
Slow
Slop

WAIT! That's not helping me at all Ummmmmmmm . . .

Bat -Hat -Cat (Okay now we're getting somewhere). Sunshine the Cat, come here and help me with this dilemma.
Now, be nice, don't hit me . . . Take that you bully . . . If I catch you I'm gonna . . .
Oh yeah. Sorry Mommy. You said NOT to CHASE the CAT!!!

Le Chien Mal Garde

SOMEONE forgot to put up the "baby" gate that keeps me in one room. SO . . .

Went into Auntie T's room and grabbed her slipper -- CHECK
Went into the den and grabbed C's stuffed toy  -- CHECK
Went into Auntie B's room and grabbed her boot -- CHECK
Went into the den and grabbed a flip flop sitting next to Mommy's chair  -- CHECK
Went into the bathroom and knocked over the trash bin -- CHECK
Went into the kitchen and grabbed some hidden food scraps from dinner prep -- CHECK

Noodles! Noodles! Noodles! Quit getting into things you don't belong into!!!!!

The gate has been REINSTALLED -- for now (wink).

Questions Unanswered

You're gettin' home WHEN?

You're doing that WHY?

I can't believe it THEN

And I'm certainly not SHY

Sooner or later I gotta KNOW

Did we watch the whole SHOW?

I fell asleep at the MID

Paws all tucked, face half HID

You're tellin' me to go to BED

And pattin' me on my HEAD

But what I can't get IN

You're gettin' home WHEN?

Jumpin' Jowls

Someone called me JOWLY yesterday. It was quite a blow to my self image.

So look at this picture . . . look REAL close.

Do I appear JOWLY to you?

WAIT! Gimme that mirror so I can see for myself . . . . . HMMMMMMMMMMMM

 

Huh, I guess I do have jowls.

They're kinda cute,though. Don't you think?

I'm gonna start a new TREND for this season and call it

JUMPIN' JOWLS.

Who's got the last laugh now?

Wardrobe MISS Function

A lot has been said lately about my wardrobe. All those DRESSES!!! What do you need with ALL THOSE DRESSES????
I am here to set the record straight. I have only one dress . . .
The rest of my wardrobe consists of 4 Halloween costumes, one Snugglie (pictured), several t-shirts, shoes, swim suit thingy, and  . . .
Oh, I see what you mean.
Do you think there is a FASHIONISTA ANONYMOUS I can join?