Saturday, October 30, 2010

Zombie love


I'm a ZOMBIE
A CREATURE of the nite
Gimme a treat
And I'll CREEP you right

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYPUGGIE!!!!!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Yoo Need Some 'Splainin' Here

Tell me . . . does this look pathetic or WHAT? I am NOT talking the rally towel, either.

It all happened on Tuesday morning. I came in from doing my early morning bidness - all was well. Then I started rubbing my eye on things cuz it kinda hurt. Mommy said stop it but I didn't listen. I just looked at her, one eye pleading - the other squeezed shut really tightly and slightly swollen. Uh-oh, said Mommy. This can't be good.
So she grabbed a towel and wet it with nice cool water and placed it gently on my boo-boo eye. It felt so much better. I was able to open it.

Flash forward to dinner time.

Mommy comes home from work and promptly feeds me, as usual. I chow down IN A FLASH and run to finally say hi to her. But she looks at me all worried because I am listing to one side and clamping shut my eye. She scoops me up and takes me ALL THE WAY to the ER Vet.

Some ooohing and awwwing over my cuteness, tests and measures later I was declared healthy, happy and the bearer of a scratched cornea. A small surface scratch but painful.

I know you all KNOW the drill - FIVE DAYS of antibiotic ointment and the "CONE OF SHAME."

Oh the inhumanity.

Oh the mortification.

But it DOES lend itself to a totally RAD Halloween costume - DONTCHA THINK?


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Progress

I have been dieting for what . . . FOUR days now . . . and I think I am making progress.

What do you think of my new trim physique?

A-LO-HA!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Uh-oh . . . Cat's Got My . . . Uh , , , HAT?

This is Sunshine the Cat, my SISTEROID. She is 8 and feisty and sometimes mean. But we get along and sometimes even LIKE each other. Twice we have been busted sleeping within 1 foot of EACH OTHER!

She is wearing what was going to be part of MY Halloween costume (SJ Sharks FINatic). Mommy bought the costume pattern because it featured a PUG modeling the hat (no, it wasn't our local SUPERMODEL Puglet). She figured that was a good hint that the hat would fit me - a rather petite pug. She made the LARGEST one, just to be sure. All along she had this feeling it was too small. She kept TORTURING me by trying it on at various stages just to make sure it would fit. BUT at the end of the day - the hat didn't fit my CUTE CRANIUM.
Mommy was crushed - all that hard work and "WHO IS GOING TO WEAR THIS NOW????"

About that time Sunshine the Cat walked in the room.

With a gleam in my eye I suggested, "How about the CAT?

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

D Spells Disaster



I am on a DIET!!!
Oh NO! How could this happen to ME? I'm not fat Mommy! That roll is SUPPOSED to be there.

I got busted yesterday as I was "COMMENTING" on several blogs. Mommy said I  was scamming for treats by commenting about MYSELF like that.

Uh-uh. Treats never entered my mind . . . well, except once or twice . . . maybe THRICE!

How could this happen to me? I am a relatively active PUG. I only get good treats, don't I? You mean all those BISCUITS Auntie B gave me have CALORIES????? And the boxes of delicious Cheddar WET NOSES are just laden with unnecessary FAT?

Oh no, this is a disaster . . . it looks like lettuce for ME for a good long while.
How will I ever
SURVIVE?????

Monday, October 25, 2010

Feeling . . . Facebook

Socially speaking, it is about time I sign up for Facebook. It IS the wave of the social network future, according to Mark Zukerberg. Gotta keep up with the times.
I am getting so many friends now that I really need a method for organizing them and keeping up with them. I KNOW Fb is the way. So I made a little list to get me started.

  1.  Register for FACEBOOK. I can do this. In no part of the rules is membership limited to HUMAN.
  2.  Status - sweet and single . . . OKAY just single.
  3. Gotta email some friends.
  4. Gotta add a MILLION more friends. . .  no restriction on my page, baby. I laugh in the face of security!
  5. Post some of my cute, cute, cute photos. 
Okay, that's DONE. Now to post something.

What's on your Mind?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Good one. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Uh. Oh. Ummmmmmmmmm.

Wow, this is tougher than I thought.


Saturday, October 23, 2010

I Just Have To . . . .

There's something about Orange and Black
That makes me run and not look back
To the TV to watch the Giants
Make the plays, grass staining their pants
Play great baseball so you can last and
Win the pennant to advance
A World Series, oh we need it
Otherwise I will throw a fit

GO GIANTS!!!!!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Black and Orange and Not the Halloweeny Kind

Our Father who art in SAN FRANCISCO. Baseball be thy game. Thy will be done. The NL DIVISION will be WON. On the field, as well as in the bullpen. Give us this day our bat and glove, and forgive us our errors, as we forgive those who homerun against us, lead us not into . . . . . . defeat, but help us BEAT THE PHILLIES. In the... name of... the fans, Lincecum and the Giants. AMEN. ♥




LOVE NOODLES
(P.S. I did not write this but wholeheartedly embrace it)

Frankly Fine

I'm kinda small
And not too particu-lar
I like t-shirts
But hats - not so far
I deal with the shoes
Dresses gimme da blues
But a baby bib is quite divine
And wearing it is, frankly, fine

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Whazzat?

I was taking a walk in my 'HOOD the other day. It's a nice place - lots of trees, grasses, and smells. Too many folks don't pick up after their pooches, but that is another blog post.
ANYHOO, I was trotting along when suddenly I hear this odd sound. It was chirpy, like a bird, but clearly not a bird. It was almost . . . what? Chattery? Yeah, that's it. It was CHATTERY.

Suddenly this creature jumps down from the spiky green branches of the Italian cypress tree. It kinda looked like a cat: furry all over, triangle shaped ears, small oval paws. But the tail wasn't quite right - not like a cat's at all. It was long and BUSHY and it kinda twitched a lot.

I tried to sniff it a little but it wanted nothing to do with me. Huh? I'm a friendly little PUG, not at all aggressive (moist orb action and an innocent mouth here). It didn't go far, though, and turned around to twitch it's tail at me. So I ran up to it, again trying to decode it's SMELL. Cat? Mouse?

Hmmmmm. It sprinted off for a nearby tree and started climbing up the trunk, circling it as it did. It stopped right in the middle of the trunk and again twitched its tail at me. So, I am getting a little HOT under the harness from this PUSH ME - PULL ME routine and felt I needed to express myself clearly.

Hey! I shouted. I am just trying to say HELLO. As I got closer it AGAIN skittered up the tree trunk until it was on the branch over my head. It chattered then, almost a taunt. That bushy tail TWITCHED again maniacally. Suddenly something came crashing down through the branches and hit me on the head!

What is your PROBLEM, I again shouted?
Nuttin' it said. Just being a SQUIRREL!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Great Pumpkins!

I am sooooooo excited about Halloween. I am exploring some costume options (you thought Karate Kid was it?????) and making plans for the BIG HAUNTING! And I am even going to a Halloween Carving party.
You heard me right - CARVING.
I am not sure how I will accomplish this FEAT since I have FEET with no thumbs, but the FETE I am going to will be filled with humans in the KNOW so I am sure we can figure something out.
I am pondering some designs and here is what I came up with -






This one appeals to the HOUND in all of us. I like it's simplicity of line. And, of course being a DOG, I am somewhat partial to this one. The curves might cause me problems as I am pretty sure it requires OPPOSABLE thumbs . . . or at least thumbs in general.







This one I like because it pays homage to my friend and nemesis, Sunshine the Cat. Again I am looking at the simple lines and clear-cut statement of the design. And I really think I can accomplish this look without using a scary KNIFE.






 BUT this is my favorite design - READY FOR EATING!!!!!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Thinking 'Bout Nothing

The other day I was sitting around thinking. Thinking real hard.
Nothing in particular, mind you. Just thinking.

And I was outside laying in the grass thinking, Thinking real hard.
Nothing in particular, mind you. Just thinking.

The grass was kind wet and the sun was getting high as I was thinking, Thinking real hard.
Nothing in particular, mind you. Just thinking.

It felt good to be outside as I was thinking. Thinking real hard.
Nothing in particular, mind you. Just thinking.

It's good to be a dog, I'm thinking, Good to be loved, I'm thinking.
Good to be here.

Monday, October 18, 2010

AI-YA!!!!


I am overwhelmed and speechless – but let me try. . .
A-hem, esteemed Lady and Gentleman of the judging panel
It is my honor to accept the award for the Howl-O-Ween contest (Simply Pug). The competition was fierce, as we all know. But I felt in my heart that a good solid effort was all it would take. So thank you, lady and gentleman judges. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Love Noodles

Friday, October 15, 2010

Born With a Wooden Spoon in My Mouth

Remember my blog about cooking and my desire to be IRON CHEF? Well, move over Bobby Flay, here I come! I'm gonna dice, slice and saute till I am blue in the EYES!
Word came down from the producers that they liked my audition tape and want to see more of me. What's that Mommy? They haven't answered yet? Well, uh, okay. But I am sure word is coming ANYTIME now.
Check it out . . . my specialty dish is . . .
BOILED CHICKEN AND BROWN RICE. For garnish I like to add a little baked yam and some crisply fresh romaine lettuce.
Yum - MEEEEEE!
I will remember you all. My PEEPS when I am riding high on that pedestal.
IRON CHEF NOODLES
Out.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Pug Princess?

This has been weighing heavily on my CUTE CRANIUM for a while - which Disney Princess do I most resemble? Not all Princesses are alike, you know. They share the Beauty characteristic, but that is about it. Maybe if I take their individual TRAITS and compare them to mine I can come up with the likely choice. Don't you think?
So here is what I have:
SNOW WHITE - Girl-Next-Door (No, I don't think I am that ordinary), Innocent (like, yeah, right), Graceful (except when falling), and SWEET (definitely when I am asleep).

Maybe not such a good fit
CINDERELLA - Cheerful (Always), Sunny (except when I am in a bad mood), Endlessly Kind (as long as there is something in it for me), Patient (whatever), and Unassuming (huh).

No, that's not me either.
BELLE - Graceful (I think I covered this point already), Smart (YES), Loyal (YES), Kind (YES especially to lil' ones), and Opinionated (YES, we are good as long as your opinion matches mine).

Obviously I am BELLE.




NOW I just need to find MY BEAST!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

By Popular Demand



Ironing Out the Wrinkles

So the other night I happened to see myself in the mirror for the first time since I was a wee one.
I wanna know - where did all these WRINKLES come from? I am shocked by the sheer numbers on my FACE alone. And I have been told there are more on my BUTT!!!
I don't understand because I eat well . . . I stay out of intense sunlight most of the time . . . I use moisturizing puppy shampoo . . .
So Whattha?
It must be genetics.
Does anyone know a good plastic surgeon? Or maybe a Botox clinic.
OMP! There are so MANY!!!!!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Impressionistically

Impressionism The most conspicuous characteristic of Impressionism was an attempt to accurately and objectively record visual reality in terms of transient effects of light and colour

My BLUE Phase

Left alone all day on Saturday because the whole family
went to a wedding.

Monday, October 11, 2010

What am I Waiting For?


The house is quiet, everyone is gone
What am I waiting for?
I am sitting here so all alone
What am I waiting for?
I know there's something that should be done
What am I waiting for?
The hours just go on and on
What am I waiting for?
It's such a long long wait you see
Until dinner is finally served to me
THAT's what I am waiting for

Friday, October 8, 2010

And . . . SCENE





 I have always imagined myself as a THESPIAN. I have the looks. I have the body. And everyone knows I have the personality. I have done a small audition blog that I would like to share with all of you. And yes, you CAN say you knew me WHEN. . .


SCENE ONE
The heroine enters the cave where she hears a loud ticking sound. She runs to corner where a large round object, a bomb, is laying. She approaches the bomb in hopes of diffusing it.
NOODLES: "I bet I can stop this bomb from detonating if I can just cut this pink wire over here."
The ticking sound suddenly stops.
NOODLES: "I did it!" Now where's my treat?"


 SCENE TWO
The heroine is dashing through the village in hopes of finding her one-true-LOVE. She sees a light through yonder window . . .
NOODLES: "Hey, YO! Is that you Romeo?"
A handsome PUG appears on the balcony, he says nothing.
NOODLES: " I'm cute. Wanna come down and share a TREAT?"


SCENE THREE
The heroine is alone in a cafe. She has just finished off YAK CHEW.
NOODLES: "Alas, poor YAK CHEW, I knew it well. It was my constant companion lo these 3 nights past. I savor the memory of it - I revel in the knowledge there are more where that came from.









END SCENE

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Keepin' On


Let's go for a walk now
I'll show you how
First put on a harness
We wouldn"t want anything less
Then clip on a leash, the best you can find
And open the door and let it unwind
Walk this way and don't delay
It isn't really time for play. 
Keep quite close and don't pull me
And please don't wind around that tree
Let's cross this street and walk due south
Take that icky stick out of your mouth
We won't get far if you keep smellin'
All the clues left from those dwellin'
Down the street and 'round the corner
There's a couple of 'huahuas and others
We'll stay outside for maybe an hour
Walking fast gives you such power
Alas we're home and tired to boot
I can't wait to do this again real soon

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Seriously?


What's all the WHO-HA about anyhow? The HUMANS in my house are all excited about this thing called BASEBALL and this team called the SF Giants. I don't personally get the excitement.

What is the big deal about catching a ball. I do it all the time. Well, I don't really CATCH the ball at all. It kinda HITS me in the nose or noggin and THEN I catch the ball.

Regarding RUNNING the BASES - well, HELLO!!! It is my spe-she-ally-tee, if I do say so myself. Want me to run here? Oh! And what about here? To the THIRD one? No problem!!! I do believe HOME is where the food is . . . voila! SCORE!

                                          N.B.D.

But my humans, well they are screaming and cheering at the orange and black clad humans . . . high fiving every HOME RUN . . . YADDA YADDA.

I simply do not get it.


Now HOCKEY I get. Hey Joe Thornton - LOOKEE HERE!!!!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Round N Round

I was taking a walk the other day and came across an obstacle - a POLE. I went one way and Mommy went the other. Hmmmmm. Something was amiss.

I continued to walk and Mommy started telling me to turn AROUND. But I was oddly looking at the same car that was parked at the curb as when I approached the pole - so I figured I was going the right way, So I kept on walking.

Huh? Why was the leash getting SMALLER? Am I like Alice in Wonderland and getting bigger and BIGGER so I cannot fit through the door? What door? Am I getting hysterical????????

So Mommy stopped talking and pushed my bottom back the OTHER way. Around and round the pole (how did I wrap it so many times?) . . . until FINALLY I was free from the pole. Whew! That was a close on. Huh?

What's this? Another POLE? Lessee, I walk straight, right? And . . . why am I looking at the same parked car? UH-OH!!! . . .

Monday, October 4, 2010

Friday, October 1, 2010

Flashback Friday

Everyone else is reminiscing about when they were babies (even Baby and Lucy who still are babies)! So I thought I might as well let you all see what I looked like when I first met my humans.

Prepare to say AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW . . .




and my now famous SMILE


Ya Gotta Have Friends

My Mommy #2 is having friend drama and it got me thinking about this whole companion thing. It should be easy to make and keep friends but it apparently is not. So I wrote a small ode to friends that I hope will make things clearer to all . . .

To you my friend, I want to say
I think of you each and every day
I was thinking just the other day
about the time we'd play and play
two innocent spirits making our way
in a world that often leads young astray
The times we had and the things we did
Oh! I am laughing even now about what we said
We were kids and mistakes we made
But we never meant to be waylaid
from walking the path of right.
I know that if I am ever lacking
You'll be the first to guard my back, and
I can say that in return
I'll be at your side to turn
(not a moment too soon)
Your frown to a smile
Your defeat to a win
And your bust to a boon
To you my friend, I want to say
I think of you each and every day