|See Ferdinand? Columbus left him on the BOAT!!!!|
We all know about the man-of-the-hour Christopher Columbus. You learn about it in school, you see it on TV, you KNOW the poem: "In nineteen hundred and forty-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. . ."
He "found" America, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. There is some controversy about what Columbus actually discovered. All I know is SOME PEOPLE got today off work and my Mommys did NOT.
So I wanted to know more about this SEMI-holiday really only celebrated by government workers, bankers and SOME LUCKY schoolkids. What I found was shocking. . . nay. . . Appalling!
*Did you know Columbus had a DOG on board. Yes he did - a Spanish spaniel of some sort named Ferdinand. Anypug, this here DOG was not only Columbus's BEST FURiend but also his NAVIGATOR. Yes, that is not a well know fact. Ferdinand is why up until the America thing, Columbus was known as an extremely accurate WORLD FAMOUS explorer and discoverer. It was FERDINAND who pointed the boat in the RIGHT direction again and again and again. Columbus, left to his own devices, got lost going from the poop deck to the bridge. Really!
So one day Ferdinand was at the helm when he sniffed land nearby. He ran to his BFF Columbus and excitedly danced around saying "Land! Land! Land!" Columbus, ever the contrarian, said NO WAY JOSE. . . I mean Ferdinand! There is NO LAND around here just miles and miles of ocean blue. But Ferdinand was SURE he smelled land so he kept up the dancing and the whining and the barking. Again Columbus said that there is nothing but ocean blue. He did NOT expect to land in India for another month or so. Not only that, Columbus said, but we are headed to the FAR EAST and you are pointing WEST. We all know there is NOTHING in the WEST.
So he took Ferdinand to the POOP DECK cuz he was sure all the dancing and prancing was the result of needing to do his BIDNESS.
FERDINAND let some time go by until he KNEW even the most clogged sinus aboard the boat could SMELL land nearby. He again ran to Columbus and barked up a storm. This irritated Columbus so much he grabbed his telescope and pretended to look just to quiet down the DOG. Just as he was making a sweep of the horizon, Columbus spotted something. LAND!!! Just like Ferdinand said!
"Wow!" said Columbus. I made it to INDIA way ahead of schedule. I AM a great explorer.
And that is how
* This is pure fabrication made up by a bored pug with no Mommys at home. He may have had dogs, I don't really know. He may not have even LIKED dogs, that is beside the point. I said this was a STORY, sheesh!