(for Frank the Tank)
This is a retelling of a tail tale that I usually reserve for the CAMPFIRE. But there is no campfire so I COLORIZED my photo to look like one.
Once upon a time not so long ago . . .
hmmmmmm . . . That is kinda trite, isn't it . . . Well, in any case it was NOT yesterday, or the day before, or even the day before that. . . I was sitting all alone in a ray of SUNSHINE ( by THAT I mean Ol' Sol not THE CAT) when all of a sudden I felt a twinge in my, UMMMMM, hind region. What, I SQUEAKED QUITE LOUDLY, is going on with my BEAUTIFUL curly tail? Then it happened AGAIN only this time the twinge became a THROB! I tried to take a look but being a PUG with limited flexibility in the waist, I couldn't see too much more than my rather adorable LEG. So I ran to Auntie T's room because she has a full length mirror and I just KNEW I could see what was going on BELOW MY HINEY WRINKLE!!!
OMD!!! What did my LARGE LIQUIDY EYES see but a DOUBLE Hiney wrinkle where my UBER CURLY tail usually resides! What to do, what to do? I mean . . . I, Noodles the Pug CANNOT be without my AWARD WINNING (Pugoween 2011 Curliest Tail winner) curly tail!!!!!
So I went to the MALL because I know you can find ANYTHING and EVERYTHING at the mall. PLUS we all know the mall is filled with RETAIL businesses. Store after store it was the same story . . . "No we have no CURLY tails here . . . check #####!" I was quite distressed. Here it was the HOLIDAZE and I needed to find a CURLY tail STAT! There were straight tails, nubbins, and really fuzzy tails like the one worn by Sunshine the Cat. But no DOUBLE WHORL such as I had before. Even SANDY PAWS said HO HO HO when I asked him about a new tail - then he sent me on my way.
Dejected and depressed I LEFT THE MALL and wandered down to our neighborhood RETAIL store. I figured they should at least have a semi curly TAIL that I could have temporarily. Hours went by and I could not find ANYTHING at all resembling a tail. Maybe I am exaggerating just a little. It was not hours - it was just minutes but . . . you know how TIME slows down when you are stressed and a minute seems like an HOUR . . . and an HOUR can seem like days but is really only 60 minutes?
Why oh why is there to TAIL to be found in RETAIL, I wailed! I need desperately to be RE-TAILED and despite all the TALES I hear, NO one has a TAIL for me!!!
WHY oh WHY oh WHY . . . I cried and cried kicking my legs furiously in my frustration.
Suddenly I felt a JOLT and a JIGGLE and there was SUNSHINE THE CAT giving me a WIGGLE! "Noodles oh Noodles!" she said. "You must be having a really scary DAYmare . . . WAKE UP!"
Groggily I stood up. "Wha' you say?" I stammered at Sunshine the Cat. Then it dawned on me what she was saying so I tried to reach my HINEY and ended up falling down from the circles I ran. When I UN-dizzied, I ran to Auntie T's room and looked in her mirror . . .
|It was BACK!!!!!|