Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Retelling a Tale of Retail Re-Tail

(for Frank the Tank)




This is a retelling of a tail tale that I usually reserve for the CAMPFIRE. But there is no campfire so I COLORIZED my photo to look like one.
Once upon a time not so long ago . . . 
hmmmmmm . . . That is kinda trite, isn't it . . . Well, in any case it was NOT yesterday, or the day before, or even the day before that. . . I was sitting all alone in a ray of SUNSHINE ( by THAT I mean Ol' Sol not THE CAT) when all of a sudden I felt a twinge in my, UMMMMM, hind region. What, I SQUEAKED QUITE LOUDLY, is going on with my BEAUTIFUL curly tail? Then it happened AGAIN only this time the twinge became a THROB! I tried to take a look but being a PUG with limited flexibility in the waist, I couldn't see too much more than my rather adorable LEG. So I ran to Auntie T's room because she has a full length mirror and I just KNEW I could see what was going on BELOW MY HINEY WRINKLE!!!


 OMD!!! What did my LARGE LIQUIDY EYES see but a DOUBLE Hiney wrinkle where my UBER CURLY tail usually resides! What to do, what to do? I mean . . . I, Noodles the Pug CANNOT be without my AWARD WINNING (Pugoween 2011 Curliest Tail winner) curly tail!!!!!

So I went to the MALL because I know you can find ANYTHING and EVERYTHING at the mall. PLUS we all know the mall is filled with RETAIL businesses. Store after store it was the same story . . . "No we have no CURLY tails here . . .  check #####!" I was quite distressed. Here  it was the HOLIDAZE and I needed to find a CURLY tail STAT! There were straight tails, nubbins, and really fuzzy tails like the one worn by Sunshine the Cat. But no DOUBLE WHORL such as I had before. Even SANDY PAWS said HO HO HO when I asked him about a new tail - then he sent me on my way.

Dejected and depressed I LEFT THE MALL and wandered down to our neighborhood RETAIL store. I figured they should at least have a semi curly TAIL that I could have temporarily. Hours went by and I could not find ANYTHING at all resembling a tail. Maybe I am exaggerating just a little. It was not hours - it was just minutes but . . . you know how TIME slows down when you are stressed and a minute seems like an HOUR . . . and an HOUR can seem like days but is really only 60 minutes? 

Why oh why is there to TAIL to be found in RETAIL, I wailed! I need desperately to be RE-TAILED and despite all the TALES I hear, NO one has a TAIL for me!!!
WHY oh WHY oh WHY . . . I cried and cried kicking my legs furiously in my frustration.

Suddenly I felt a JOLT and a JIGGLE and there was SUNSHINE THE CAT giving me a WIGGLE! "Noodles oh Noodles!" she said. "You must be having a really scary DAYmare . . . WAKE UP!"

Groggily I stood up. "Wha' you say?" I stammered at Sunshine the Cat. Then it dawned on me what she was saying so I tried to reach my HINEY and ended up falling down from the circles I ran. When I UN-dizzied, I ran to Auntie T's room and looked in her mirror . . .

It was BACK!!!!!



17 comments:

Payton's Gampy said...

Glad you "found" your curly tail Noodles! You need to watch one of those Hallmark movies and chill out. You must be stressed to have such a dream. Me, I watch a Walk in the Clouds, anything about wine mellows me out! : )

Gampy

Payton said...

Thank goodness this story has a happy ending. I was scared for a second there. But I really like Noodles' story hour! I think it should be a regular segment.
Love,
Payton

pugtails.net said...

What a scary tale. I was biting my paws right up to the end.
Licks,
Sabrina

Frank The Tank said...

Thank you so very much Noodles for telling a tale about your re-tail adventure in retail! I agree with Payton you need to do "Noodles Campfire Story Time" more often, maybe you will inspire me to ask you to create another little story just for me again soon! I loved it! I was thinking maybe Sunshine the cat had stole your award winning tail to replace her long fuzzy one, I'm glad that it was all a dream and she woke you up from your tail tantrum in the mall! Thank you again! Love, Licks and Big Pug Hugs from your friend Frank the Tank x x x x x x x x x You have made me smile the biggest Pugalier smile EVER!

Tessa the Maltese said...

OMD that sure was a fury scary dream! Yikes!

woos, Tessa

Keith Andrea said...

OMG, what a tail..lol

thanks for sharing a tale about re-tail adventure..

Dog Fence
Pet Solutions
Its All About Bichon

PugSlope.com said...

After reading your story I double-checked to make sure my curly tail was still intact...whew..it's still there (although I really have two hiney wrinkles! Those aren't an illusion).

Glad your tail didn't actually go missing. Noodles. You've got an exquisite double-curl!

-Love,
Sid.

Two French Bulldogs said...

we only like happee endings
Benny & Lily

Winston, Kizzy and Tika of Two Cats and a Pug said...

OMP that would totally freaks me outs! Loosing our curly tail is just no goods no goods at all! Thank pugness it was just a horrible horrible daymare and not reals!


Winston

Nana Gail said...

well i thot the story was real, goes to show you that this nanney is still gullible and it was only a story, But im glad you have your tail cause you know sometime humans are looking for a piece of tail

Shea, Lola and Tucker said...

Oh Noodles, that was definitely a scary dream! What's a pug without a curly tail? I am so glad Sunshine was there to wake you up.

Barbara said...

Oh my, what a scary thought - losing your tail! You must have been out of your mind with worry!! I'm glad it came back!

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