Dear Captain America . . . by Noodles

Dear Captain America

On this eve of your new movie "The Avengers: Civil War" I am worried, worried, worried. You see, Captain America, I love you and everything you stand for. We must fight EVIL (okay, so. . . who exactly is this generic EVIL?) and protect our FURiends and family. We must preserve the American Way (is that the Democrats way, the Republicans way, or TRUMP'S way?) for ourselves and our posterity. You believe in always doing what is RIGHT. Yes, yes, Captain America! I totally side with that kind of RIGHT.

BUT

Iron Man wants the same thing - and maybe MORE. You see, Cap, Iron Man is simply looking at a different SIDE of RIGHT than you are. He is looking at the RIGHT that maybe stops Evil before it takes hold. He is looking at RIGHT that saves the most people and property as Evil is being destroyed. But in every sense, he is INTERESTED in doing the RIGHT thing.

SO

What is your (plural) BEEF about? And are you SURE the problem can't be solved by sitting down and cracking open a brew or TWO while chit-chatting like BUDS? Maybe slap some NACHOS on a plate to keep the hungry HATE down? I am pretty sure this is how 99 percent of the world problems get solved ANYHOW. Beer and Nachos - problem SOLVED!

AND

Boys! Know who your ENEMY is! It isn't your former teammate who is trying to do THE RIGHT THING. Black Widow has been your best friend, Cap. Are you going to turn your back on HER because she happens to think she can work with the SYSTEM and not against it?  And while we are talking about FRIENDS, what's this Bucky Barnes thing all about? I'm not FEELING it.

IN TRUTH

You ALL - Team Iron Man and Team Captain America can accomplish so much MORE by working together as a TEAM. It doesn't mean you have to L-O-V-E each other. . . you don't technically have to LIKE each other. . . you simply have to WORK together to a common goal - WHAT IS RIGHT.

ALSO

Please don't make me choose sides. It is too much for this little PUGGY brain to tackle. I simply CANNOT choose between the two sides. I will NOT. I love all of you Superheroes (even Deadpool). You make me feel HAPPY. You make me feel SAFE. I totally dig being happy and safe. Next to being FULL. I like that post-dinner FULL the most. But after that, I love being HAPPY. . . and safe.

Love your FURiend FORever, Noodles

A Bit like Captain America, Black Widow, and . . .?

So I was thinking about Halloween the other day - you know, plotting my costume. It occurred to me that the costumes I like BEST are generally considered BOY costumes. Take for example my Storm Trooper costume. It is an awesome costume which I totally rock. But when I wore it for a costume contest, the judges could not get over the fact that I was a GIRL! Where is it written that Storm Troopers are all boys? We have women in armed services and that is technically what a Storm Trooper is, right?

I think this applies to SuperHeroes as well. Why does Captain America HAVE to be a boy? Although I think Chris Evans TOTALLY ROCKS as Cap'n, I can see myself in the roll bringing a certain girlish charm along with my FIERCENESS. Don't you think?

Don't I look real mean? So then I got to thinking about dressing as the other Avengers. I KNOW I could absolutely pull off the Black Widow thing. I am BEAUTIFUL in all my PUGNESS, fast like she is. . . and determined like she is. . . and clever as she is. PLUS I look really FINE in Black Leather.

Look how poised I am - how confident. Now THAT'S how a woman should be. But this is copping out on my original position of why should SuperHeroes generally be BOYS. So I puzzled and Puzzled and PUZZLED over which boy SuperHero to dress as.

I was getting no where - nothing SANG to me.

So I asked my Mommy which Avenger or SuperHero she thought I should be for Halloween. She looked at me. . . looked at Molly. . .looked at me. . .  How about this?